WHAT MY CHILD NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT LOVE

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What my child needs to know about Love

Valentine’s day will soon be upon us. couples will be enjoying their fine dining and wine. Singletons will be cuddling blankets in front of the T.V. However, we tend to forget to remind our children what Love really is all about. we’re consumed in our romances that we forget to teach our children the 15 fundamental lessons about LOVE. What is love?

LOVE IS PATIENT

No one has the time to wait. Not for real relationships to blossom or for businesses to develop. Why would they when they can have thousands, virtual friends, overnight. Or find a ‘get rich quick’ scheme that will bring them success in hours? Has modern society made us impatient, or are we just impatient with modern society?

It’s not about being patient with people, but being patient with love! Real Love.

If you find someone or something you love, invest time into it. Lots of it.

Because Love is patient!

Any relationship you form will take time. From friendships to relationships, to hobbies. If you love it, it will take time. Work hard on it. Master it and succeed.

Do not rush to make friends and base your happiness on the quantities of ‘friends’ you have. Rather, be content with the small number of quality friends you love.

LOVE IS KIND

Be kind to everyone. At school, at work and everywhere in between. Do not favour those that have a lot or look accomplished. Treat everyone the same regardless of their background and their beliefs. You never know how your paths may cross with people in the future. So be kind to someone now, for your benefit in the future.

When you show Kindness, some people will mistake it for weakness, but do not worry my dear, recognise that the kindness in you is strong enough to cripple the assumptions in them.

LOVE DOES NOT ENVY

Have the determination to achieve the best in life. This life that you have is yours to live. Don’t waste it on envying what people have. Live your life and accomplish YOUR dreams and desires. Set goals and focus on achieving them.

For each of us are given things in life as per our needs. Do not envy your friends’ or strangers’ possessions for you do not know how they acquired them. Learn the difference between what you want and what you need and have a healthy balance between the two.

Do not love someone for what they have, but for who they are. Always remember, a person’s possessions will never comfort you in your time of despair. Nor celebrate with you in times of success.

LOVE DOES NOT BOAST

As we walk through life, we acquire much materialistic and indeed intellectual property. You can be proud of your achievements my dear, but never ruffle your feathers and brag about your possessions to your friends or enemies. Never dim anyone’s light to make yours shine brighter.

Dream, believe and succeed in life. But your success should be directly in line with the personal goals you set. And not as a direct competition with your neighbour.

Life is a personal journey. We have no one to compete with other than ourselves. Stay in your lane and focus. Let your success do the talking.

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips – Proverbs 27 vs 2 

LOVE IS NOT PROUD

Take courage in standing for who you are and what you believe in. Be grateful for your achievements. But do not stroke your ego daily! Do not become so proud that you’re distasteful.

Do not become unapproachable. Remember, pride comes before the fall. Do not set yourself up for such. Instead, be humble, be thankful for the little things. For all we know, it’s the little things that make the big things happen. In relationships, do not take pride in your ability to win arguments. Humility and modesty will take you far!

LOVE DOES NOT DISHONOUR OTHER

Honour your family and friends. Not to glorify them, but to give credit where its due.

Appreciate their existence. Never disrespect other people. No matter their moral values. do not let cultural, racial, or social differences be a reason to tease anyone. Embrace the differences and love the uniqueness. For we are all different and unique in our own special way. Never speak ill of people. Words said, can never be taken back and mean words stick like mud. Always remember, A strong woman does not put others down, she uses her strength to lift them up’!

LOVE IS NOT SELF-SEEKING

Do not be an egotistic, self-absorbed or a vain person.  Not everything is about you. Open your eyes and see your surroundings. For you cannot teach yourself everything in life.

Accept and be willing to learn from others, allow yourself to learn from other people’s mistakes not just your own. You cannot teach yourself everything in life.

If you try, you will spend the rest of your life making mistakes and never learn anything.

LOVE IS NOT EASILY ANGERED

Anger is only one letter short of danger! Be quick to listen and slow to anger. Anger never resolved anything. I’m not saying you should not get angry, we’re all human. People and situations make us angry, However, do not make it habit that you are easily angered.

No one likes to be around a hot-head. Instead, be calm, think before you speak. When you have been angered, sing the national anthem at least twice before you act. Anger diminishes any existence of love in your heart. Don’t let anger replace the love you hold in your heart. Never let the sun go down on your anger, for we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Instead, before you sleep, resolve any issues you have with anyone. Forgive and go to sleep.

LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONG

Forgive and forget. Easier said than done. I tell you my darling, people will disappoint you and they will hurt you. Your friends will be disloyal and family will break promises.

Forgiving and forgetting a wrong does not mean you must force a friendship. If you have been greatly wronged and your heart will not heal with that person in your life, then forgive them and end the friendship. If they’re a family member, limit contact. It is important to forgive, not for the sake of the person who hurt you, but for your sake. Forgiveness allows you to move on with life.

If you do not forgive, you will always be caught up in the wrongs of ‘what that person did to you’. Do yourself a favour and train your heart to forgive while you’re young, it will only get harder as years progress. An act of forgiveness is showing that you love and care about yourself.

LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES IN TRUTH

Teach your child in the way that he shall go, and when he is older, he will not depart from it – Proverbs 22 vs 6. 

I love you. So, I do my humanly best to teach you right from wrong in the hope that you do not depart from it. Do not delight in wrongdoing, no keep in the company of wrong doers.

It’s easy to influence someone to do the wrong thing than it is to encourage them to do right. Think of the consequences your action will have. Stay away from doing things in the name of ‘cool.’ Cool will not be there to pick up the pieces with things break down.

I love you and want you to know that the truth will set you free. You will find so much joy and peace in doing what is right and telling the truth. For you won’t have to hide anything or pretend to be anyone. Before you’re true to me or friends, be true to God and yourself. After all, I can’t always know what you’re up to.

LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS

I tell you all this about love my dear, not because I want to bore you to death and impose my old-fashioned Christian mum views on you.

No, I tell you all this because I love you and want to protect you. I want to show you what love is. It’s the love that has been shown to me by Christ, so in turn, you can show others the same Love.

When you love someone, you protect them. I see the way you defend your younger brother when you feel someone will hurt them. The way you run to him and try to catch him before he falls. You already have it in you.

Just keep being true to yourself. Those that you protect will not always appreciate it. But it’s better to have protected and been rejected, than not to have protected and regretted.

LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS

Don’t lose trust in people, don’t Lose trust in yourself. Most importantly, don’t lose trust in God.

Trust that your good works will pay off, trust that if you humble yourself, you will be lifted. Trust that when you forgive, your heart will be set free.

Do not doubt but trust people when they say they ‘I LOVE YOU’. Don’t build walls around your heart and shut everyone out. Your heart will be broken by a thousand people. But trust that it will only take a single person to mend it. Always remember, relationships should be built on trust – no matter the relation circumstance.

LOVE ALWAYS HOPES

I hope and pray for the best in your life. Why? Because I love you. Always wish people well and hope for the best for them. Never be discouraged or lose hope in someone.

Try to be there for people. One day, they will appreciate your presence. Don’t push people away because they broke a promise. Instead, learn to understand that we can’t have everything in life.

Not everyone is perfect and it’s not the end of the world. Move on from your disappointments and hope for new promises. For hope keeps us dreaming, and when we dream, we achieve. Hope, my dear. Hope for change in this world. Don’t be afraid to run as far as hope will take you…there, you will find your dreams.

LOVE ALWAYS PERSEVERES

Press on. Nothing in life is easy. Push until the walls come tumbling down. You have the inner strength that will get you to where you want to be. When you need someone to hold your hand or to give that extra push, I’ll be right here. All you gotta do is ask. Don’t give up on relationships so easily. Work hard at them. persevere.

LOVE NEVER FAILS

I can’t promise that I’ll never fail you. Because like you, I’m only human. But I can promise that my love for you will never fail. No matter what I will always love you. I will not give up on you.

Because Love it not just for Valentine’s day, Love is for life!

Take what I have shown you from the Book of 1 Corinthians 13. Bury it in your heart so when you finally find someone worthy to have your heart, their heart will see these qualities and mirror them.

Parents, Always remember that children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate.

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