DEAR MOMMY YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE TIRED

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Dear Mommy,

Remember how you felt the first time you found out I was coming to the world to be with you? You were so happy! You had all the reason to scream with such joy!

The 9 months that came were long and tough for you. 

You gave up your girly nights out for me.

Gave up your favourite seafood casserole, your red wine and not forgetting that Saturday morning Coffee date you had with Mr Sunny- Side-Up Egg on toast!

All because I couldn’t stand the smell! Instead, at my will, you changed your diet to gherkin, and of course my favourite, oranges dipped in tomatoes ketchup. Oh! Thank you, momma.

Your bladder grew weaker as I grew older! It frustrated you to have to wake up every minute to go the toilet. Exhaustion consumed your entire being. A mind, body and heart that was once calm and rested, now constantly stirred with emotions and pain. Your back gave way due to my weight. Ankles swelled up because they could not bear the pressure. Each time you looked into the mirror, you could barely recognise yourself. But until I arrive, momma, your body is not your own.

Your back gave way due to my weight. Ankles swelled up because they could not bear the pressure. Each time you looked into the mirror, you barely recognised the woman looking back at you. An unkempt mop of hair sat on top of your head, bare-faced and vulnerable. You cried tears of joy, pain, and fear. But never tears of weary.

Because I, Dear Mommy,  I never allowed you to be tired!

For the 9 months you carried me, your body is not your own. It was my place of comfort, protection. My source of nourishment. It was my shelter, my home, playground and my bed.

The rhythm of your heartbeat, my very own personalised Lullaby.

Submerged in darkness, but never alone. Where you went, I too was there. For 9 months, You and I were inseparable. Not even for a single second. For each moment we’re together, you, dear Mommy, are not allowed to be tired of carrying me.

I finally arrived into this world, after such a long wait.

It was the happiest day of our lives. You made me feel safe and warm in this big open world.

I’m here now mommy. All yours, longing for your love, care and attention.

I come with no instruction manual, no money, no gifts and no reward. my gift to you is me.

I know nothing and no-one in this world. The only familiar thing to me is you.

So please care for me in the best way you can. I depend on you. 

When I’m dirty, please clean me up. Please don’t leave me in a dirty diaper for a long time so I get sores on my bottom. When I puke up on you, please don’t be upset, I can’t help it.

When I cry relentlessly, don’t give up trying to find out what the matter is. Because, yes, something is the matter.

When I wake in the night, looking for you, please do not shut your ears from my cry. Although I’m submerged in this room and darkness, this place is unfamiliar, because I can’t hear your heartbeat.

Dear momma, you’re not allowed to be tired of caring for me.

So quickly have the days, months even years passed. Time waits for no one as I’ve grown so much.

I know a little more about life. Not so much, but enough.

I see how hard you work for me. O! I see how exhausted you are.

I feel your tiredness in the way you snap at me and tell me off when I do something wrong. Even something ever so insignificant.

I know it seems like I don’t listen and only do what you tell me not to do repeatedly.

When I do something wrong, don’t scream out hard questions like ‘what’s the matter with you’ because until now, I didn’t think there was anything the matter with me.

Be patient with me, somethings take the time to learn.

Dear momma, through the years you showed me how to respect the elders, you showed me how to choose friends and how to be my own person.

You tirelessly showed me how to be strong, how to love me and let me know my self-worth.

So, dear momma, you’re not allowed to be tired of teaching me wrong from right.

Don’t push me away when I want a cuddle in the middle of you doing the laundry because at that moment I might be upset about something I cannot explain.

Don’t let me ever get too old to sit your lap. Don’t ever get tired of showing me your affection.

Please don’t blame me for everything and expect me to tell you when something is wrong and feel it was not my fault.

Dear Momma, please have time to hear every word I say. Even when you’re not listening. Because one day I might say something important and you’ll miss it.

Dear momma, you’re not allowed to get tired of my voice.

Dear momma, you’re my best friend, we have come so far us two. You’re the only person I’ve known all my life. You celebrated my achievements and encouraged me in my failures!

You gave up your body for. Gave up your time for me. You loved me even before you met me. Continued to love me even after you met me.

You know my past, my flaws, my weakness and the things I’m guilty of, and yet you still love me.

You cared for me even when your body was exhausted, put my needs before yours.

Dear momma, thank you for not being tired.

For all the days you carried me, I’ll carry you when your body starts to give up.

I’ll care for you when you can’t get out of bed to wash because your joints are too sore.

Dear momma, with such gentleness I’ll wash and moisturise your fragile frail skin like you moisturised mine every day.

I’ll dress you in your favourite outfit. No, it won’t be to my taste or my colour, but I’ll let you wear it because it’s your favourite.

I’ll cook your favourite meal from all the recipes you taught me from our cooking sessions together.

And when your fingers swell and get so painful that you can’t feed yourself, I’ll take over.

I won’t rush you when eating because I’m so busy and in such a rush – no, I’ll take my time, I’ll let you chew your food and make sure ‘it’s all gone’ before putting another spoonful.

I’ll sit with you to watch your favourite program even when we’ve seen the same episode 100 times. We’ll laugh at the same jokes over and over again, you and I.

Dear Momma, I’ll never get tired of caring for you.

I’ll protest with all my power for better health care. Speak up for you when people are treating you unkindly. I’ll take the time to hear your side of the story.

When you feel like chatting, I’ll take interest in every word you have to say. I’ll listen to all the stories even the ones you’ve told before. Because, dear momma, I’ll never be tired of hearing your voice.

Dear momma, when your mind and memory starts to deteriorate, I won’t stand there and yell at you for doing something repeatedly. I won’t sit you in a naughty corner, nor will I take your pass time activities from you because you’ve had your three strikes!

When you’re sad and need affection, I won’t let you sit and self-sooth in a cold empty room.

I’ll be there to hold you close. So close that for the first time, you can learn the rhythm of my heart.

I won’t insult your dignity by letting you sit in a wet adult pad until you get sores on your bottom. No, I’ll spend my last dollar if I have to, to make sure there are enough incontinent pads for regular changes. 

Dear momma, I’ll be there for you when you’re not well. I’ll stay up all night with you if you want me to. I won’t get tired of being your child because you never got tired of being my mom.

Dear momma, I’ll do as you did for me. I’ll leave all other things aside just to care for you.

Dear mommies, for the days when you feel like it’s all too much, it will be. Caring for someone is not easy. Just remember that whatever down you’re going through will come to pass. The good days will surpass the bad days. Be intentional in the way you care for your children. Children are investments in our future.

Show your child how to care, show her how to care for you. You will not care for her for the rest of her life, but she will care for you for the rest of your life.

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Dear Mommy, You're Not Allowed to be Tired

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