Pregnancy is an amazing experience not just for mommy, but for daddy too. Unfortunately, as men don’t ‘carry’ the baby, they start to feel a little insecure about the new bundle of joy joining the family. Most especially if this is the first baby.
Deniably, they will feel like they have to ‘share’ you. But it doesn’t have to be like that.
Keeping your spouse involved throughout pregnancy will be beneficial for you, for him and the baby.
It will also help him bond and build a relationship with the baby.
1. INVOLVE HIM FROM EARLY ON IN THE PREGNANCY
It doesn’t matter how crappy you feel or how morning sickness is taking over your life, give him the chance and time to caress your very very tiny little baby. It’s easy for us women to ‘feel’ pregnant.
That feeling we get, the changes to our bodies serve as a way of ‘truly knowing’ you’re pregnant.
You start to ‘feel’ pregnant enough to start bonding with your baby.
Allowing your partner to feel your stomach from very early on will not only make him feel included but it will also give him a sense of Validation
2. INCLUDE HIM IN THE PREGNANCY AS IT PROGRESSES.
Ask him to pick up all the little weird things that you crave. Ask him to make you your favourite new favourite meal or snack – however unappetising it may be.
Tell him how much baby appreciates it – this will give him a sense of care.
3. ATTEND PRENATAL APPOINTMENTS TOGETHER
This might be harder if your partner works away or is in a demanding job and is unable to get ALL the time off for appointments.
Although, I’m sure legally, he is allowed to have that time off. So make sure you take advantage and invite him to all the appointments.
Even if it’s just a routine checkup – let him be there. Being pregnant is a magical moment and you really want him to experience that magical time too.
All appointments are important, however, I would say that the scans are ore so important because you both get to ‘see your tiny little bundle of joy TOGETHER – this will give him a sense of being wanted importance
4. LET HIM TALK TO THE BABY – WHENEVER POSSIBLE
Allow him to talk about whatever he wants to talk about (obviously within reason). If he’s a football fan, then let him talk to your daughter about football.
If he LOVES singing but can’t hold a note, then allow him to sing out of tune to his princess (or little man).
This is HIS time. DON’T get involved. Just sit and watch. Let him have HIS time.
This will give him time to build that relationship and will give him a sense of bonding.
5. PLANNING ON HAVING A GENDER REVEAL OR BABY SHOWER? PLAN IT TOGETHER
Yes, I say TOGETHER because a lot of men and women have the misconception that things like baby showers should be left to the women to plan.
And if your partner is not much of a party planner, ask his opinion of things – and not in a ‘I’m only asking because I have to involve you’ in a kind of way – but really ask of his honest opinion – you will be surprised at how helpful men can be at picking colour combinations when they really put their mind to it.
This will give him a sense of involvement
6. SHARE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT BEING PARENTHOOD
Discuss how you envisage your life with them around. How you will take turns to change diapers.
Speak of your fears, what exciting you the most! Who the baby will look like but act like. If they’ll have dark or fair hair – or any hair at all.
Share your worries and concerns. Mamma, bring up your Pregnancy anxieties – Those BIG UNKNOWN things that keep you up at night.
Talk about anything to do with the baby. Submerge yourself in DEEP conversation!
Trust me it will give you both a sense of connection and understanding.
Failing that, it will surely clear up any parenting habits clashes before baby arrives.
7. DECORATE THE BABY ROOM TOGETHER
By this, I don’t mean you pick out all the colours and he puts up the Crib – No! I mean you both agree on the colour scheme.
The decor. Allow him independently pick out a couple of decors without any influence from you mamma! It’s ok if he has bad taste, His quirky style will add character to the room.
And that’s something to talk about on your baby’s 18th birthday. Seriously though, his input in the baby’s room and style will give him a sense of influence
8. DECIDE AND AGREE ON BABY’S NAME TOGETHER
Don’t forget to include this one in one of your many baby talks. It is so important to make sure that you involve your partner when it comes to picking baby’s name.
This will give him a sense of entitlement
9. TAKE A MATERNITY HOLIDAY OR A BABYMOON TOGETHER
This doesn’t have to be anything fancy – mind you, you have a major expense coming on, so you might not be feeling very spendy right now.
BUT, it’s ok to check yourselves out of your home to somewhere where you can just spend time in each other’s company.
No distraction, no visitors, no phones. Just busk in each others warmth and company. You will both appreciate this time once the baby comes!
And this will also give your partner a sense of being LOVED! Because we all know men are such attention seekers! Hehe.
10. LET HIM BE PRESENT AT THE BIRTH OF THE BABY
Unless it’s out of your control, Don’t allow him to ‘wait outside’.
BUT if you’re having a normal delivery, then baby daddy has to be present.
If he’s squeamish, allow him to overcome his squeamishness if he’s squeamish.
Allow him to hold your hand. Let him have a peak if he can stomach it!
The presence of daddy at birth is so important, not just for you but for the baby too.
I say this because I feel that for the partner, the most important part about childbirth is when the baby is born and they cut the cord – THAT will be his special moment.
A special moment that he shares with his baby and NO ONE can ever take it away from him! So allow him to welcome the baby by cutting the cord.
This will give him a sense of welcoming Fatherhood and responsibility!
JUST TO RECAP:
Pregnancy is enjoyable, but even more so when you involve your spouse. Share the rare intimate moments together as you prepare to become parents! Let ‘baby daddy’ feel involved!
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